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SLOVAK WORD OF THE WEEK

Kokaín

PRIME Minister Iveta Radičová’s spokesman Rado Baťo said his brief comment that "decisions about Slovakia shouldn’t be made by cocaine" that he posted on Facebook right after parliament brought down the government was meant as a "scorching metaphor about the state of local politics”. The choice of metaphor is rather unusual but okay, let’s examine whether the recent actions of SaS resemble those of a person on cocaine in any way.

PRIME Minister Iveta Radičová’s spokesman Rado Baťo said his brief comment that "decisions about Slovakia shouldn’t be made by cocaine" that he posted on Facebook right after parliament brought down the government was meant as a "scorching metaphor about the state of local politics”. The choice of metaphor is rather unusual but okay, let’s examine whether the recent actions of SaS resemble those of a person on cocaine in any way.

What does Wikipedia say are the main effects of cocaine?

“Increased alertness and feelings of competence.” SaS' Richard Sulík certainly does like to repeat that he sees truths hidden to others. When asked why the rest of Europe and his former coalition partners support the euro bailout fund which he knows is “a road to socialism” and “the beginning of economic serfdom”, he implied the others are manipulated, or just thoughtlessly going along with the crowd. On the other hand, the actual collapse of the coalition and the swift agreement on early elections does seem to have caught SaS by surprise.

“Feelings of well-being and euphoria.” Right after bringing down the government, SaS had a party in their “Liberal House”. Just a few moments earlier they had global investors and political leaders watching and the country’s prime minister begging them for mercy… and they showed them all! What better time to have a little fiesta.

“Increased sexuality.” No idea just how liberal their house is but sticking to the metaphorical nature of our analysis, the SaS did pick a sexy topic to build their reputation on – or at least the sexiest currently available. The party has tried to lure voters by several agendas – opposing mandatory concession fees for public broadcasting, decreasing the size of parliament, setting a limit on the price of government limousines, decriminalizing weed, legalising gay partnerships and so on.

But nothing came of any of them. Seeing their support decline, they needed to find something big and catchy to boost their appeal. Saving taxpayer money before it was stuffed down the throats of fat Greeks was the best they could come up with.

“Anxiety, paranoia, and restlessness.” SaS members keep repeating that Radičová is the best imaginable head of government. So why did they vote against her? Their answer: because she tied the votes together. Why did she do it? Some dark forces apparently forced her to do so. SaS
MP Martin Poliačik is known as “Shaman”, so voodoo may be involved. The often demonised SDKÚ boss Mikuláš Dzurinda is probably also assigned some role. But just what those demons did to Radičová remains unclear, as does when they will let go of her soul – which still seems obsessed by the crazed notion that it really was best to approve the eurozone bailout.

“Occasional cocaine use does not typically lead to social problems.” Causing the fall of the government and early elections did not make SaS many friends. But it seems to have united the party and it has given Sulík his fifteen minutes of fame abroad. The real problem is that what just happened has the potential to cause enormous social problems in Slovakia. Much needed reforms remain unfinished, the country has lost a government in the middle of huge economic turmoil, the doors are open for the return of Robert Fico, whose administration was known for corruption, incompetence and intolerance. The EFSF has passed. Fico is on his way back.

After the vote Radičová said SaS achieved nothing by its actions. As Eric Clapton’s lyrics to “Cocaine” say: “She don’t lie. She don’t lie. She don’t lie”.

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