Píšem or pišám? (source: Image by wayhomestudio on Freepik)
Some time back I was lying in bed at around half past eight thinking about public transportation and the enticing possibility of calling in sick to work. My bus came at 9:12, which meant I had to leave the apartment by 9:07, which meant I had to get out of bed by 9:00, which meant I had roughly 30 or so minutes to fantasise about playing hooky. I lurched across the bed look at my alarm clock and find out the exact time, when AHHHHHHH...
I fell back across the bed. I had pulled a mid-rib-cage muscle on the right side of my back. The muscle was simmering painfully in the way only back muscles can. Underneath the pain I felt a knot forming that would be hell tomorrow. I rolled over and shouted to my girlfriend to perform pre-emptive massage.
"Do ľava," (to the left) I yelled, "Nie, do prava" (no, to the right), I gasped, guiding her toward the guilty muscle. "Dolšie," I screamed. "Nie, nie, horšie..."
Those of you who speak Slovak will be laughing now. And to those of you who aren't laughing, welcome to this week's Slovak Matters. It's theme: stupid malapropisms I have made in three years of speaking Slovak. (My back is fine now, incidentally).
