The Foreigners’ Police unlearns English

Over the decades, this Slovak institution has proved both durable and obdurate.

Illustrative stock photoIllustrative stock photo (Source: TASR)

I spent another of those memorable days at the Bratislava office of the Border and Alien Police (aka the Foreigners’ Police) a few weeks ago.

Since the supposed reform of the anarchic free-for-all that used to govern encounters with this agency, upon whose mercy all foreign residents must eventually throw themselves, you are now required to go through an online appointments system.

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Read all news about the Foreigners' Police here

By sheer fluke, I got in and out in a day, partly by applying as a “foreign bus driver” – the only category for which the system was offering appointment dates in Bratislava. The only price for my impertinence (I would make a poor bus driver) was to be told by a sniggering policeman that my ID photo makes me look like Igor Matovič.

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Sadly, that loophole has now been closed. Since an ‘update’ in early December the system is no longer preferring bus drivers – but is offering new appointment dates.

The earliest one at the Bratislava office, as of late December, is in late February.

If, as is normal, the police decide to demand some further piece of paperwork, one must presumably get another appointment eight weeks hence.

I say “presumably” because there is (of course) no explanation on the website of what to do in such an eventuality.

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